This has been a week! Both the kids have been sick, then I got sick too. We’re much better today (YAY) And my husband has had a very busy week at work.
Crazy mom week. At times, I don’t even remember who I would be if I wasn’t taking care of someone. I have always felt guilty and selfish for wanting to take time for myself, but when I don’t take time for myself, my anxiety builds up.
I realized this was becoming more of a problem when my husband was home with the kids all day while I worked last week. I don’t work often so when i do, it throws everyone off.
(I work PRN for a Plastic Surgeon)
When I walked in my house that evening, toys were everywhere, Brynn was naked, Hayden was watching YouTube, and lunch was still on the counter. I had a major anxiety attack.
My anxiety manifests as anger. I was angry at everyone for even being there. I was especially angry at my husband because Why couldn’t you just clean up a little before I got here?
Ridiculous.
He took care of my babies all day. Even though it may have been different than the way I do. That is OK.
Anxiety is a bitch, and it causes me to need control of every situation.
Obviously, I can’t control most things and this causes more anxiety and frustration.
This anxiety means that if I am at work, or working out, or at dinner with friends, I am running 100 things through my head about what could be happening at home.
I have had real improvement with daily CBD. But I still can’t shake the worry sometimes.
I consider myself a generally happy mom, but when I feel like this it is an eye opener that I need to remember myself.
My goals for the next month:
•Get a sitter and have date night with my husband
•Go to the gym 3x a week (and not worry about if Brynn is crying in childcare or not)
•Plan a time for my husband to have full control of the kids while I take a bath and drink wine (it’s my happy time)
What are some ways you make time for yourself?
How do you cope with anxiety as a mother?
Two sick babes trying to be happy 🙃